Fifteen years, fifteen deployments, and another anniversary spent alone. I wish you were here. I wish we could toast to this achievement together. I wish I could hold you in my arms and whisper I love you in your ear, but I am here, and you are wherever you are.
You are wherever you are, and I am here … in the home we’ve built in Washington, in a rented house with the very best shady yard. I’m sitting here on the couch we picked in one crazy couch-sitting marathon afternoon in a too busy Ikea. Under a blanket you gave to me at Christmas because you know I love soft, cozy things.
You are wherever you, surrounded by shipmates, and I am here with the kids. Three beautiful daughters who never cease to amaze, inspire, and frustrate me. Our greatest achievements. So lucky.
You are wherever you are, and I am so proud that you are there. You are a fine Navy Chief, one of the best, and I hold my head high today because the man I married serves this country so proudly.
You are wherever you, and I am holding down the fort as always. Checking homework. Kissing boo-boos. Folding laundry (occasionally). I’ll keep things going, keep that ball rolling until you get home to push it with me.
You are wherever you are, and I wonder what that’s like. Alone today is tough for me here, but I can’t imagine it there. All alone in a crowd of sailors. Will you skip our day all together? Pretend it’s another day. Will you think of me when you drift off to sleep?
You are wherever you, and I can only dream of celebrating. If you were here, would we have dinner somewhere special? Would we sneak away for the weekend? Would we finally renew our vows as we have planned and waited for so many years.
You are wherever you are, and I miss you so completely. When you’re gone, I am half. I don’t breathe as well. My heart feels missing. On bad days I have no one to console me, and on good days, I have no one to share news with, and on everyday I drift off to sleep sleep hugging your pillow and praying for your safe return.
You are wherever are, but wherever that is, I know that you are loving me, and I am loving you as always. Since Orlando, since St. Marys, since long before May 22, 2000, and for so many years to come.
Dear Josh, I love you so much wherever you are.
To my best friend. The naysayers said we’d never make it five years. Let’s make it fifty just to piss ’em off. I love you so very much more than the world could ever know.